Excerpts

5 False Beliefs that Are Holding You Back

Over the years you’ve created a set of beliefs in your mind that you hold to be true.  Some are indeed helpful and true, while others have completely fooled you.  It’s these latter, false beliefs that quietly hinder your potential and hold you back from the life you are capable of living.

Here are five such false beliefs to be aware of:

1.  Life owes me something.

Just because you’re alive doesn’t mean life is going to hand everything to you.

Life doesn’t just get better by itself.  It isn’t like flying in a plane through turbulence.  Life doesn’t just improve if you fasten your seat belt and wait.

Sadly, so many people expect that a great life is coming to them automatically.  They believe it’ll come next month or next year.  So they continue thinking the same thoughts and doing the same things, just waiting for that day when life will get better.

They come home from work, heat up a microwave dinner and sit on the couch for hours watching TV.  They get on the Internet and spend entire evenings getting nothing done.  They keeping hoping and praying for a change without ever taking action.

When you were younger, you got a trophy if you played sports.  It didn’t matter if you were the leading scorer or the leading benchwarmer.  Adulthood is a bit different.  You don’t get trophies anymore for just showing up.  You have to earn them.

If you keep believing life will somehow automatically improve on it’s own, then you’re going to waste many years of your life in a state of disappointment.

It’s up to you to decide how you want to be.  You are the one that determines the quality of your life.  It is not the people around you, your boss, the government, or anyone else.  If you are serious about being healthy, wealthy, successful, respected and loved, then you are going to have to do something about it.

No one is going to give you the life you dream about except YOU.

Let this be your wake-up call.  Take full control of your life, starting now!

2.  The universe is out to get me.

It seems like life has gone wrong for you in every imaginable way.  You can’t catch a break.  You don’t know why other people are successful and happy, but you’re not.  You believe the universe is somehow working against you.

The truth is the universe doesn’t care about you one bit.  That might sound harsh, but it’s true.  The universe isn’t out to get you.  You aren’t cursed.  You don’t have bad karma following you around.

Why would the universe choose you to be the unlucky one?  It wouldn’t and it hasn’t.  We are all born with a chance to live a full and happy life.  It’s up to you to use the resources the universe has given you – the ones you have right now within you.

If you have an unlucky streak, it’s because you are choosing your own reality with the thoughts in your head and the action you take or don’t take.  If the universe really picked sides, those who grew up poor would always remain poor while the rich would always remain rich.  Obviously this is not true.  There have been many rags to riches stories, and stories of those who have grown up rich and lost everything.

Understand the universe isn’t out to get you.  It wants you to be happy and succeed, but you’ve got to go out and create your own opportunities for happiness.

To start changing how you view the world, start a gratitude journal by writing down three things that you’re thankful for every day.  What this does is to get you in the habit of focusing on what you do have in life – the good, instead of what you do not – the bad.  (Read The How of Happiness.)

3.  I am stuck in my current life situation.

Humans are the only creatures on this planet that can choose to change their life situation at any moment.  A shark can’t one day decide to be a chef.  An ant can’t decide it wants to be a dancer.  Their lives are built into their DNA.

You, on the other hand, can change if you want to.  Oftentimes the only problem is that the fear of change is holding you back.  Excuses keep piling up.  You only remember the times you failed, and this memory scares you off from trying again.  You feel hopelessly stuck in life.

What you need to realize is that life isn’t meant to be a straight line that goes from point A to point B.  Life is meant to be a series of zigs and zags.  It should look like a mess, but a beautiful mess.  It shows that you have changed throughout the course of your life.  You’ve had your ups and downs.  You went down one path, but decided to change course… perhaps on many occasions.

That’s how life should be.  Life is a continuous experience of independent present moments and choices.  So whatever situation you are in right now, just know that it can change if you want it to.

It’s up to you.  You just have to choose something new.

4.  It’s too late to start anything.

How old would you think you are if you didn’t know and couldn’t see yourself in the mirror?

Age is just a number.  What’s important is how you feel.

The only reason you think it’s too late to start is because that’s what you grew up believing.  You believe that you should have everything figured out in life before you reach 30, 40, 50, etc.  The older you get, the less opportunity you think you have to do something new.

You think that you have to cram everything in before the general retirement age of 65.  After that, it’s time to play golf, work on your garden, travel, and play with the grandkids.  This simply isn’t true.

If you’re determined to do something, it is never too late to start.  Here are some famous examples of people who started late.

  • Ray Croc was 59 years old when he bought out the McDonald’s brothers.  He turned it into an empire.
  • Stan Lee, creator of Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk, and Iron Man was 40 when he began drawing these legendary superheroes.  He’s now 90 years old and makes a cameo in every movie based on his comic books.
  • Julia Child didn’t even learn to cook until she was almost 40 and didn’t launch her popular show until she was 50.
  • Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken was 66 when he began to promote his style of cooking and create an empire.

Can you imagine if anyone of them thought it was too late to start?  They wouldn’t have created their best life’s work.

Don’t let age stop you from going after your dreams.  (Read Quitter.)

5. Others will think what I’m doing is foolish.

You worry so much about other people’s opinion.  You’re afraid you will get laughed at.  You don’t want people to reject your ideas.  You don’t want to look like a fool.  What you need to realize now:  None of this matters.

At the end of your life when you look back, what you want to remember is a journey that makes you smile.  Regardless of what everyone else thinks of you, if you’ve followed your intuition and done your best, win or lose, you won’t regret a thing.

There have been so many crazy ideas that even the so-called experts thought was a bad idea.  That did not stop these people:

  • J.K. Rowling was penniless, recently divorced, and raising a child on her own.  She wrote the first Harry Potter book on an old manual typewriter.  Twelve publishers rejected the manuscript.  A year later she was given the green light by Barry Cunningham from Bloomsbury, who agreed to publish the book but insisted she get a day job cause there was no money in children’s books.  The series has sold 450 million copies and made J.K Rowling a billionaire.  So much for publishers who told her, “There’s no money in children’s books.”
  • Can you imagine a gentleman telling you he wants to build a massive theme park where families can spend time together in a hot Florida swamp?  You might not think it’s too crazy now.  However when Walt Disney wanted to build Disney World, he was rejected for financing over 300 times.
  • The Beatles were rejected by many record labels.  In a famously quoted rejection letter, a music label said, “Guitar groups are on the way out” and “the Beatles have no future in show business.”  Shortly thereafter the Beatles signed with EMI, brought Beatlemania to the United States, and became the most influential band in the history of rock and roll.

These are just three examples, but there are countless more.  Each person involved was ahead of his or her time, but they didn’t let other people’s opinions stop them.   There might be something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t because you’re worried about what others will think or of being rejected.  Let these stories inspire you to realize that good fortune favors the bold.

Final Thoughts

If you suffer from one or more of these false beliefs, it’s time to make a change.  When you were younger you didn’t believe these untruths, but as you’ve grown up they have been given more power simply because you have given them more attention.  By doing so, you have slowly become your own worst enemy.

Take back control of your life now.  You can do that by shattering these beliefs and choosing to take positive action today.

by Benny Hsu

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Excerpts

2013年最有深度的19句话

【第一句】被恨的人没有痛苦,恨人的人却终将遍体鳞伤,所以,绝不去恨人。

【第二句】缘分是本书,翻得不经意会错过,读得太认真会流泪。

【第三句】不同傻子争辩,否则就搞不清谁是傻子了。

【第四句】学历是铜牌,能力是银牌,人脉是金牌,思维是王牌。

【第五句】成功的人不是赢在起点,而是赢在转折点。

【第六句】钱有两种:花掉的是钱,是财产;没花掉的是“纸”,是遗产。

【第七句】长得那么美那么帅气,自己却不知道,这就是气质;那么有钱那么有才华,别人却不知道,这就是修养。

【第八句】把脾气拿出来,那叫本能;把脾气压下去,那叫本事。

【第九句】简单的事重复做,你就是专家;重复的事用心做,你就是赢家。

【第十句】管好自的嘴,讲话不要图一时痛快、信口开河,“良言一句三冬暖,伤人一语六月寒”,说话要用脑子,敏事慎言,话多无益,不扬人恶,自然就能化敌为友。

【第十一句】没有爱的生活就象一片荒漠,赠人玫瑰,手有余香,要“学会爱别人其实就是爱自己”,让爱如同午后阳光温暖每个人的心房。

【第十二句】多去理解尊重别人,常怀宽容感激之心,宽容是一种美德是一种智慧,海纳百川是多么广阔,感激你的朋友,是他们给了你帮助;感激你的敌人,是他们让你变的坚强。

【第十三句】这个世界,有两件事我们不能不做:一是赶路,二是停下来看看自己是否拥有一份好心态,好心态是一生的好伴侣,让人愉悦健康。

【第十四句】人情,人情,人之常情,要乐善好施,长于交往,“平时不烧香,急时抱佛脚”是行不通的,所以,“人的情绪要储存”,就象银行存款,存的越多,时间越长,红利就越大。

【第十五句】遇事不要急躁。不要急于下结论,尤其生气时不要做决断,要学会换位思考,大事化小、小事化了,把复杂的事情尽量简单处理,千万不要把简单的事情复杂化。

【第十六句】学会知足,人生最大的烦恼是从最没有意义的比较开始,这世界总有不如你的人,也总有比你强的人,当我哭泣我没有鞋子穿的时候,我发现有人却没有了脚。

【第十七句】如果敌人让你生气,那说明你还没有胜他的把握,根本不必回头去看咒骂你的人是谁?如果有一条疯狗咬了你一口,难道你也要趴下去反咬他一口吗?不要太在乎别人的咒骂。

【第十八句】别把工作当负担,与其生气埋怨,不如积极快乐的去面对,当你把工作当作生活和艺术,你就会享受到工作的乐趣。

【第十九句】人活着一天,就是有福气,就应该珍惜,人生短短几十年,不要给自己留下更多的遗憾,日出东海落西山,愁也一天,喜也一天;遇事不钻牛角尖,人也舒坦,心也舒坦。

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Excerpts

5 Questions That Will Help You to Focus on What Truly Matters in 2014

We are standing at the doorway to a new year.

So I’d like to end this year by first thanking you for all your support. Your kind words have lifted me up and pushed me forward and into action and optimism pretty much every day.

I’d also like to share a few simple questions that have helped me a lot to focus on what truly matters in the past 364 days. And I know will be just as valuable next year.

I hope these questions will be very helpful for you too during 2014.

 

1. Is this useful?

I have found that it is very easy to spend a lot of time on things that do not really matter much. To spend hours or days or even weeks on being angry at someone, replaying a mistake or failure in one’s mind or to dwell on something negative and feeling more and more like a victim.

You can waste a big chunk of a year on that.

So I try to ask myself this question as often as I can to question and confront my own thoughts.  To catch myself and to wake myself up when I get stuck in negative thought loops going round and round.

By doing so I suffer less. I waste less time on going round in circles. And I spend more of this very valuable resource on finding a practical solution.

2. What is the most important thing I can do right now?

If you get lost in what to do in your day, week and life then this question can be very helpful.

It might not always give you the answer you want, because the most important thing you can do right now is often one of the harder things you can do.

But it will help you to truly focus on the few things that matters the most in any area of your life. And if it feels too hard to get started with that then just ask yourself…

3. What is one small step I can take right now to get the ball rolling?

This is my favorite question for when I want to get started with something or if I want to get going again with something that I have let fall to the side for some reason.

Because it makes things easier. Makes them feel lighter.

This question prevents me from trying to escape into procrastination and helps me to avoid the side-effects of that such as sinking self-esteem, self-loathing and simply a lot of time being wasted on trying to hide.

4. Is there anyone on the planet having it worse than me right now?

This question does seldom deliver enjoyable answers, but it sure does snap me out of negative thinking or feeling sorry for myself.

Now, I think it is natural to sometimes feel sad or sorry for yourself for a little while. If you don’t take the time to process such natural responses to negative situations then those feelings can pop up later. And so you feel explicably sad or you might get angry or irritated at other people for no good reason.

But my experience is also that these things can go too far. It is easy in getting stuck in these disempowering thoughts for too long and let them suck the life and joy out of you.

So I like to use this question to zoom out when I feel that my perspective has become too self-centered and narrow.

And it has over the years taught me a lot about the things – that I may too often take for granted – that I can be very grateful for in my life.

5. Will this matter in 5 years? Or even 5 weeks?

This one helps me to simplify.

To let go.

To not make a mountain out of a molehill.

To find the healthier and happier perspective.

To not lose my focus and energy to crippling worries.

To find a lightness in life where I do not have to carry around 5 tons of unnecessary mental baggage.

It is a truly wonderful question.

– by Henrik Edberg (The Positivity Blog)

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